Archive for July, 2009
Thanks Anyway
Jul 11th
I have lived a very full life, meaning I have done a lot of dumb shit. And I will continue to do dumb shit daily mostly because it keeps life interesting. I get bored easy and pushing limits is one of my favorite things to do. However please know that I am not an idiot. Most of the time I know all of the possible outcomes of my actions. I usually know fully well that eating a plate of nachos meant for three people, five times a week is probably going to result in my gaining a few pounds. So please don’t give me dieting tips while I am enjoying my lunch. I also know that handing out unsolicited advice can possibly result in a kick in the shins so I don’t give it. I think that by itself proves that I am a lot smarter than most people.
One to Scratch Off the List
Jul 10th
I have decided to add “get over my fear of commitment” to my bucket list and I think its a great place to start as there is obviously no physical activity involved. Also William Shatner is getting up there and I think I need to be prepared to settle down if he ever does happen to look me up. I thought the best place to start would be with a self help book. I love those things. Its so much easier to just skip the chapter on halted emotional growth than to stick your fingers in your ears and sing “I’m not listening!” when you are talking to a therapist, wasting an hour of your life, a thirty dollar copay and risking being asked to leave the premises. Or worse yet being “asked” to stay for a 72 hour “rest” when your therapist is running an hour and a half behind just when you are getting ready to make a breakthrough on your explosive anger with the receptionist. Unfortunately Books-a-Million is right next to Total Beer and Wine and as I’ve mentioned before I am very easily distracted. Thank goodness for google. In reviewing some of the symptoms it seems as if I am a classic commitmentphobe. Attraction to unavailable men, overly critical and unrealistic ideals, fear of lost options. But then there was this: “fear of making poor decisions” Silly me I don’t even have a problem.
Never Again
Jul 9th
I drink. Heavily sometimes. I think I can hold my liquor pretty well. I take a lot of pride in the fact that you can’t usually tell I’m drunk until I fall flat on my face. I think it’s genetic. Most times I stick to beer or tequila and I am able to gauge my buzz as I go. Unfortunately this is not the case when I am drinking wine. I can’t feel it usually well into the second bottle, by then its way too late and I am the spitting image of Jeff Richards character “Drunk Girl” on SNL. I’m not sure why every once in a while I still drink wine maybe its something I will figure out in some future AA meeting. I can say though that last night I was able to stop at one bottle (all that was in the house) and I will never do that again. Sometimes it’s just best to drink until you pass out. Even in my dream life I make the worst possible decisions. But just in case my dreams are prophetic and anybody wanted to fix me up with a guy in a house arrest ankle bracelet those things are really annoying and I’m really not that desperate. Yet.
