soapbox
Become a Fan on Facebook, or Suck It.
Nov 24th
I am addicted to Facebook.
Addicted, in a pretty obnoxious, sometimes five status updates in a day kind of way.
I’m beginning to think that people have started hiding my posts and it’s becoming obvious that people are ignoring my “page suggestions.”
Of course, I have created a fan page for Straitjackets are Slimming on Facebook, and of course, I sent personal invitations to every single one of my so-called ”friends”.
I just noticed that I’m missing about two-thirds of my Facebook friends on the fan page.
I’m am proud to say that I have a very diverse group of Facebook friends. There are a few that are “Waiting for the Zombie Apocalypse,” while “Yelling at inanimate objects” and one who has proudly announced that “I am Rapture Ready.”
I understand that these things take up a lot of time, so whenever you get around to becoming a fan of Straitjackets are Slimming, is fine with me.
I’m also really happy to have such smart Facebook friends.
I just assumed “Not Being Eaten,” ”Not being Impaled,” “Not having an STD,” and “Not being set on fire” were understood, until I saw that a few of my friends “Support Chris Brown” and are “In Defense of Michael Vick” (really assholes!?). I guess I’m okay with them not being fans, mostly because they are confused or illiterate.
Can somebody please read this to them…Woman beaters usually don’t discriminate, Chris Brown is just as likely whip up on your sister or mother, unless she’s bigger than him. Of course, he’s probably not responsible for his actions because, as all Michael Vick supporters know, ”culture” and “background” are valid excuses for sociopathic behavior.
When I do something so horrible that I have to publicly surrender myself to Jesus, I’ll let you know. Maybe then you will be more likely to become a fan of my blog.
Still even more disturbing are the number of my Facebook friends (actually family members) who proudly announce “I miss George Bush”or the ones who think Jeff Dunham and Larry the Cable Guy are funny enough to become fans, but not my blog.
Way to be supportive guys!
I’m sure you are tired from playing Farmville for four days straight but all it takes is one click, that’s it.
The same amount of time it took you to become a fan of “trampolines,” “socks,” or “glow sticks.”
Come on guys, some of you are fans of “becoming a fan” show your support to that page by clicking on mine.
While researching (Facebook stalking, which I am now a fan of) for this post, not only did I discover that the proper term is to “defriend” (I joined the group), I also realized that I do have a lot of Facebook friends who are regular readers, have become fans, and have even passed Straitjackets are Slimming on Facebook along to others. Thanks, you guys, the support really does mean a lot to me.
And to the rest of you…what does it matter you’re not even reading.
I Voted
Nov 4th
Yesterday, I voted. I always vote, partly because I care and want to make sure my voice is heard but it’s mostly because I am afraid of my mother. Even though she’s been gone for three years and I know in my heart that she is busy enjoying her well earned, peaceful, afterlife there are a few things that I am positive she would strike me down over. Not voting is one of them. Voting for a Republican is another. So to all my passionately conservative readers don’t be mad at me, I am a Socialist purely out of fear.
As luck would have it, my polling place is my daughters elementary school, where I had a parent teacher conference scheduled yesterday afternoon. I figured that it would just be a quick stop. I was wrong.
The theme of today’s Word Wall Wednesday is my trip to the polls and it is another quick example of my irrational paranoia. If you don’t know what Word Wall Wednesday is, check out “If You Don’t Do Your Homework” to see how it came about.
* “I’m sorry Ms. Rickards you’re name is not on the list.”
* “Are you sure? Check Richards. It gets spelled wrong a lot.”
* Then exactly four people proceeded to ask me a total of nine times if I was sure I hadn’t moved to a different spot or changed my last name.
* While my memory is not top notch, I am sure these things are something I would have remembered.
* Next the head volunteer came over and asked “Do you mind if I make a phone call?”
* Panic immediately kicks in, have I done something illegal?
* I imagine being taken away in handcuffs, assuring Jackson that his sister will take very good care of him.
* I tell myself to relax, they don’t take away your right to vote until you commit a felony, it is just a clerical error.
* I would know if I did commit a felony, right?
*I wish the woman on the phone would stop looking at me so sternly over her glasses, I’m really freaking out.
*Maybe I should call someone to drive the getaway truck.
*Calm down, while library fines are not funny, they would have to be pretty high to be considered a felony.
* Okay, she’s done, don’t let her know you are about to flip.
*Nevermind, it turns out my name was misspelled as “Richards” and now I know why the election day volunteers don’t have paying jobs.
A Little Different Than Usual
Sep 6th
This Tuesday my baby girl starts second grade. I am crushed by how fast she is growing up. The school supply list made me cry, it was so grown up. I have had a little anxiety about how she is going to adjust to her new teacher and new classmates. So far I haven’t been thrilled with her education. There seems to be a lot of focus on memorizing for the test instead of learning how to learn. Luckily she’s a smart kid so she hasn’t felt the pressure yet. As a matter of fact her first grade teacher made it clear to that she does well in class so she usually didn’t even check her homework. She let me know that she understood the plight of the single mother. Umm…thanks, now butt out and help me to teach my kids some responsibility. Just do your job and put a sticker on her freaking homework! Now I am not trying to offend any teachers. I think I understand how difficult your job is and I know for a fact that I couldn’t do it. I was very happy that Savannah loved and respected her teacher. As unhappy as I am with school so far I constantly encourage that respect. Unfortunately last night I got a voicemail that respect is not something that is going to be taught this year. Apparently it is not on the Standards Of Learning agenda. Henrico County Public Schools will not be showing President Obama’s back to school message on Tuesday. What!? The reason “The first day of school is a busy and full day for our teachers, administrators and staff.” Seriously!? My message from the president in second grade was ketchup is a vegetable and my message from my way more liberal than me Mom was we have to respect the President of the United States.
The goal of the President’s message to students is to encourage them to take responsibility for their education. I guess that is not in the curriculum either this year. No one can deny that our President is at the very least an amazing, exciting speaker and since Billy Mays is no longer with us there is nobody more capable of motivating kids and teachers alike on the first day of school. Instead it seems that unpacking crayons is more pressing. Apparently some noisy conservatives have threatened to keep their children home on the first day of school because of the President’s speech and the schools around here have caved. God forbid they learn about respect, responsibility or get to feel the pride that comes with being able to participate in a historical moment. The argument is that President Obama will be pushing his political agenda. News flash – second graders can’t vote and if they could we would be listening to President Hannah Montana’s back to school message.
