neurosis
The Magic of Christmas
Dec 16th
Once again blogging has taken a back seat to insanity. I have been writing but unfortunately it’s all the kind of stuff that would have me arrested. Fortunately, the insanity defense is all in place and if you read regularly, you may be called as a witness. As a matter of fact if you continue reading today you may be called as a witness.
A few things have happened over the past few days and my stress level is once again out of control.
Here are some highlights.
Saturday Dec 12th.
After an altercation at the Burger King drive thru, that led me to coin the phrase “Don’t make me go all Onion Ring Sauce on you,” I came up with the most awesome idea ever for my first book (I can’t tell what the idea is just yet. Now you have to keep coming back! Muahahaha!) I immediately emailed almost everyone I know.
I then waited patiently for the immediate shower of praise. After ten minutes had passed, I began texting almost everyone I know to please check their email. Feeling neglected I watched The Wedding Singer (I couldn’t find the remote control) and kept myself entertained on commercials refreshing my email just in case anyone was actually at home on a Saturday night to praise my genius.
Sunday Dec 13th.
I woke up with no heat. While waiting 8 hours, hoping that by putting my space heater underneath the comforter I was wrapped in would catch it on fire so I could get warm (it was the coldest day yet this winter), for maintenance to arrive (they will not come in unless I am here because of how often I am seen trying to catch my runaway dog), I redid my blog layout.
I loved the previous layout but instead of “reply” in the comments section it said “replay” and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I am also cheap, technically incompetent and obsessive compulsive. If you were here on Sunday you might have noticed my obsessive compulsive behavior went on for the entire eight hours.
After the heat was fixed, I took the children to see Santa, where I thoroughly embarrassed them and their Dad by informing Santa’s elf that I would not be paying such outrageous prices for an imperfect picture. Luckily we take them to Willow Lawn (if you are in Richmond you know that Willow Lawn is the only mall on the planet that can afford to stay open with just an Old Navy, a Chick-Fil-A and a bunch of “we’ve moved” storefront banners). Because Chick-Fil-A is closed on Sunday, there were only three mall shoppers and Santa had more than enough time to let me reposition him and my children until I was satisfied.
Thank goodness I was on such a huge “good customer service” high because we then went to dinner and were seated next to a very rowdy party of thirteen. Because I am used to being the loudest table in a restaurant and I cannot tolerate rudeness (in others) I yelled “WHAT?! I DIDN’T HEAR YOU!” at the top of my lungs, at regular intervals throughout dinner. Once again causing my family to bow their red faces in shame.
Monday Dec 14th.
I realized it was the first day of Christmas and quickly put on my anal retentive hat. I was not able to finish my blog design (yes, I am still working on it) because I was looking for the perfect graphics to post my ideal plan for the twelve days of Christmas.
I was soon distracted by making my own Southpark character and Garbage Pail Kid.
My list, however, did get done and I was able to make my very first Wassail and teach the kids how creatively expletives could be used, while my ex drank the Wassail and watched me put the tree together. Apparently he never knew that the tree we had for ten years had to be put together and was not pre-lit (this and the account of our Sunday family fun night should begin to answer the question “why don’t you guys just get back together?” that I get everyday.)
Tuesday Dec 15th.
Because the holidays bring out the best in me, I was able to display my compulsive character once again. Mostly by ignoring any signs that said “handicapped parking” (I am clinically insane which is obviously a handicap) or “20 items or less” (nine over doesn’t matter when the cashier can’t count in the first place), but also by planning my daughter’s second grade holiday party.
Thankfully, lots of parents signed up to bring things and most of them even provided me with a correct phone number (to the parent who thinks I believe you are at Santa’s Workshop, I don’t need Martha Stuart to make a Christmas in the Big House special to figure out how to make a shiv out of a candy cane. I’m very creative, and now very excited to have a craft idea for the party.)
Because I was feeling the magic of the season, Wednesday was able to convince me that we should attend the PTA holiday concert, and that even though only the fourth and fifth graders were performing, she needed a Christmas dress for the event. This led to a couple hours of bonding (Mommy Dearest style, “We might be able to find a dress made from burlap to make the potato sack look complete. Stand up straight.”) over the clearance rack at Target and a new house rule. Some garbage about putting quarters in a jar for every bad word I say (not gonna fucking happen!).
She did look beautiful in her red satin dress covered in black lace and rhinestones, with patent flats, glittery tights and satin rose covered headband, which I bought for no apparent reason!
I also realized what a giving child she is when she looked at me with proud respect after I told her brother that I had given all of the Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cakes to needy children.
After the concert, and good laugh over watching MC Bizzy J try to crawl out from under a toppled Christmas tree (I am not buying another one before Christmas. The silver duct tape base is actually very festive) we sat down to begin reading The Best Christmas Pageant Ever.
So you see I have finally gotten into the holiday spirit. Even though I will be busy making magic happen, and the stress of it might cause me to be a little busy with important tasks like, poking the dog with a broom to make sure she isn’t dead (twice today) and sticking my hand in the oven to make sure I turned it off (every ten minutes for the last hour and a half), I will try to be a little better about posting regularly.
I feel like a stalker, but isn’t that what the internet is all about?
Dec 10th
I am a hypocrite.
Usually this doesn’t bother me one bit. I have always been comfortable talking the talk but secretly doing whatever I please. I give great advice.
Avoiding doing anything that I am not an expert in has always made my hypocritical ways easier for me to deal with (and hide).
But I am a blogging novice. I am pretty proud of myself for stepping out of my little box and trying something new.
I love, love, love blogging and I have a lot to learn.
I also love, love, love getting comments. It’s so great to know people are actually reading and one thing I have learned is that all bloggers love comments.
Now for the hypocrite part…
I am the worst commenter on the planet. I must read 50 thousand blogs every day (I am also a pretty slow reader. I haven’t slept in weeks). I do try to comment on every one but I am a paranoid, perfectionist, freak of nature.
What if my comments don’t make sense? What if I am offensive? What if I don’t project my sense of humor properly? I don’t want to repeat what someone else has already said. Are their rules or ettiquette that I haven’t learned yet? Everyone elses comments are so witty and relevant and perfect.
The constant arguing that goes on between all those freaking voices in my head is more overwhelming than you can imagine (if you understand, I’m sorry. I hope you have better mental health coverage than me.)
This anxiety has caused me to delete more than three quarters of my well thought out comments before I post them. More than half of what’s left gets lost when my internet connection goes out because my wireless (meaning my neighbor’s wireless. I consider it payment for all the dog poop I pick up) only covers half of my couch. Half of those are left unfinished because my eight year old is demanding to give Hannah Montana a makeover on disneychannel.com, or send hate emails to the Jonas Brothers and laugh at their automated responses (the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree), and I am terrified to say no (you don’t know what her wrath is like, I choose my battles very carefully).
And of course while reading all those witty, relevant, perfect comments I end up finding 10 more blogs that I have to add to my reader. Which then leads me to have to reorganize all the folders in said reader, but maybe following on twitter would be easier?
Wrong! because even though I am only following 20 people I could spend three hours stalking each of them, and following every single one of their links and retweets (by the way you can follow me here).
I guess what I’m saying is, I’m working on it. In the meantime please disregard any odd comments I may make, because I realize it’s important to at least let you know I’m there.
My First Blogger’s Block
Nov 28th
Here I am, just two days until the end of NaBloPoMo, struggling with my first bout of blogger’s block.
I have started this particular post no less than six times. I am highly distractable and every time I have a great idea my dog starts sprinting through the living room. Because she was born 100% deaf, I have to throw things at her just to get her attention.
I have nothing left within arms reach except for my laptop so I can’t guarantee that this post will be published, or any posts thereafter (Santa cannot afford a new computer this year).
Now, picture me examining my non-existent split ends for exactly 6 minutes and 43 seconds.
The thought of breaking the computer caused me to go into an anxiety induced trance. I think my therapist would call it escapism and I have to say I’m getting pretty good at it.
Surely, she will agree, that moving from binge eating and drunken debauchery to pulling my hair out is some kind of breakthrough.
Laugh Out Loud
Nov 20th
I am a compulsive texter. As an introvert, and a habitual multi-tasker, I believe it is the greatest invention ever
Even though I have sent 478 text messages this week, I have not once substituted the word “you” with the letter “U” or the word “for” with the number “4“.
I have not asked anyone “sup” or told anyone I would “KIR.”
I have not 
or even 
.
I am incapable of text shorthand.
I am sure it all started with Laugh Out Loud, my most despised text abbreviation. I used it once, and have been embarassed ever since.
My inability to use this popular acronym has always been a mystery.
Until last night, while driving home from work alone, I was startled by a sudden outburst of cackling.
It immediately dawned on me that people who do randomly Laugh Out Loud, especially in public for no apparent reason, understand that it is not socially acceptable behavior. It’s what crazy people do.
I am certain that the people who claim to Laugh Out Loud regularly have never witnessed a strangers look of concern, as they nervously step a few feet away or sheild their small children from impending harm. If they understood the fear that usually accompanies one of these uncontrollable fits, the fear of being physically restrained, unable to stop giggling even after the door to the padded room is locked, they would surely not be so excited to admit it.
To all of those that regularly text me (or comment on the blog) please know that, while I think this particular term is probably overused, I don’t mind when other people use text abbreviations. As a matter of fact, I love the idea of actually making people Laugh Out Loud and hope that all of you do it several times a day. Hopefully, last night’s ephiphany will start a new phase for me.
LYSM, TTYS, MWAH!
Creeps in Training
Nov 19th
I have cats and one of the rules in my apartment complex is to have white mini-blinds, kept in good condition, on the front windows. As anyone who has ever had cats and mini-blinds knows, it is an impossible mix. After a few threatening letters from the main office I learned to keep an extra set or two around. We are allowed to put whatever window treatments we would like behind our mini-blinds. So, this morning, I’m on my way to Target in search of something a little different.
As I’ve mentioned before, I help out in my daughter’s second grade class once or twice a week. It’s something I’ve done since she was in kindergarten. Over the years, I’ve also been involved in the PTA and, for a while, was a Daisy Troop Leader (both stories that you are sure to hear about later), so I’ve gotten to know a lot of her classmates. A lot of them also live in our neighborhood. I often see them when I’m out walking the dog, or at the playground (I’m also one of the few parents in the neighborhood who won’t let my kids play outside alone, another story for later).
Second graders are very good at making you feel like a celebrity. They get very excited when they see you out of context, and want to tell all of their friends how they know you.
Usually it’s just “Hey, we played frisbee at the pool this summer.” or “I used to do Girl Scouts with Ms. Maya.”
A lot of times it is very complimentary, “I had so much fun that time we picked up trash in the park.” or “You have the cutest dog ever.”
Lately, there have been some things that, if they weren’t said by a 7-year-old, would be downright creepy, for instance “I saw you getting in your car on Friday, you looked very pretty. Where were you going?” or “I watched you make dinner last night, it looked delicious.”
I have to remind myself they are just kids, they haven’t learned about the importance of privacy. They don’t sit at home in the afternoon doing research on how terrifyingly lax the Virginia state laws on stalking are (yet another story for later). So before I hear “Why have you been walking around with all the lights off all week?” and have a complete mental collapse, I am off in search of window coverings that are a little more opaque.
Professional Spectator
Nov 14th
Today has been a very big day. Today one of my very best friends (meaning one of the very few people I can stand being around for more than ten minutes at a time) Meriel, ran her very first marathon. To me running a marathon is one of the biggest achievements of a persons life. It’s huge! I am so proud of her!
I wanted to show her how proud I am by being there to cheer her on the whole way.
To get ready for the race, last night, I spent two and a half hours plotting a detailed map of the marathon route, comparing Meriel’s running time to our travel time, including getting the kids in and out of the car. I also gathered up the noisemakers, charged the camera and called my ex, Ben, no less than 12 times, reminding him that we all had to be ready to go at 8am sharp.
Today, race day, things might have gotten a little out of hand.
7:00am Open my eyes to daylight, immediately freak because I never oversleep, jump out of bed, shower, and dress (in many layers of course, in case of cold or rain) 7:27am Call Ben to remind him to bundle the kids up. No answer. More panic. 7:29am Call Ben 6 more times, still no answer. 7:36am Check my bag 3 times to make sure I have noisemakers, camera, wallet and phone. Grab an extra whistle, just in case. 8:03am Arrive to pick up Ben and the kids. Run in the door, blow my whistle and jump around like a baboon. 8:05am Put extra sweatshirts under the kids coats, I don’t want them to get cold. Assure them I have extra noisemakers for them in the car. Grab a rubber chicken squeeky toy, just in case. 8:08am Thank Ben for making signs, even if they are a little small. 8:11am Ask bothe children 4 times if they need to go potty before we go. 8:20am Learn dollar store bag of noisemakers make no noise. Freak out again because there is nowhere to stop for more without getting stuck in traffic. 8:25am Arrive at the 4 mile marker with a plan to stop for more whistles before our next stop. 8:27am Take off the kids extra sweatshirts, it is too warm. 8:30am Embarrass Savannah and scare Jackson with maniacal cheering. 8:39am Terrified we’ve missed her, there are so many runners 8:43am Interrupted, by Meriel, in the middle of a “discussion” with Ben about how high to hold the sign with Ben. Thank goodness, she was not going to let us miss her. More maniacal cheering, right in her face. 9:05am While stuck in traffic on the way to our next stop realize we have left Bens travel coffee mug, that he had to put down to hold up his sign, on the sidewalk. Even though he asked me to remember it. 9:10am Give children candy to help get them pumped up. 9:21am Stop by Ben’s house because everyone does have to use the bathroom after all and to get another coffee. 9:42am Ben thinks I have missed my turn, I don’t think so but turn around anyway. 9:47am Turn around again, I knew I did not miss it. 9:55am Stop at railroad crossing to wait for the train. 9:59am Longest train ever, begin to panic. 10:06am Find a perfect parking spot at the 13 mile marker, pointed in the right direction to get to our next stop. Feeling better. 10:21am ”Discussion” with Ben about the easiest place to cross the street. 10:24am Maniacal cheering, with Savannah this time. Jackson is now embarrassed. More candy. 10:26am Savannah drops whistle in a puddle in the gutter. Wipe it off and try to give it back to her. Ben grabs it and suggests I calm down. 10:28am Consider running into CVS to get a “snack” (more whistles) but wallet is in the car. 10:29am Spot table with free clapping hands noisemakers and grab 7, almost knocking over a woman with a cane and a toddler. 10:34am Put Jackson on my shoulders and cheer maniacally while being hit in the face with free hand clapping noisemakers. 10:46am See Meriel running with her mom, SK, who jumped in to keep her company for a few miles (awesome!!). Start jumping up and down like a possessed baboon, whooping at the top of my lungs. 10:47am Hold up signs so SK can get pictures, all the while yelling “WHOOOO! RUN! MERIEL!” right in her face while she stood there looking confused about why she was stopping. 10:48am Yell “WHOO! KEEP GOING! WHOO! RUN!” while SK assured her she would catch up after taking our pictures (my kids are that cute) 10:53am Inform my family that the fun is over, its time to get serious. Our next two stops are close together and we have no time to spare. 10:55am Another “discussion” with Ben about where to cross the street. 10:56am Let family know that I am sweating, hoping that tearing off my sweatshirt, hulk style, will remind them not to irritate me when I am too hot. It doesn’t work. 10:57am Jackson is ready to go home and Savannah is hungry. 10:58am Remind them that “fun time is over, we’ve got to hustle” 11:03am Realize we have left another coffee travel mug that I was supposed to remember on the street. 11:07am “Discussion” about which toll lane I should be in and when I should turn on my blinkers. 11:08am Remind Ben that I drive every day and usually do fine with no help. 11:09am Take the wrong exit off the interstate, turn around and take the wrong exit back on, taking us right back where we were. 11:14am Sadly give up on stopping at mile 17, but relax because we have plenty of time to get to mile 20. 11:16am Ben mentions the speed limit on the exit ramp. 11:17am Fit of turrets that causes me to miss another turn. 11:18am Illegal U-turn 11:19am Reprimanded by ungrateful children. 11:20am More turrets. Miss exit again. 11:35am Stop at Ben’s, which he tricked me into believing was on the way, for more coffee, snacks and another potty break. Jackson falls asleep in the car. 11:45am Find perfect parking spot in a fast food parking lot. Ben thinks we will be towed. He is wrong but I move the car, proving that I am better and smarter and more generous. 11:48am Wake Jackson and immediately shove M&Ms in his mouth. We don’t have time for crabby three year olds. 11:52am Give a few free hand clapping noisemakers to some little girls holding a sign that says “Go, Daddy, Go.” So cute, but my kids cheer louder. 11:55am Maniacal cheering, with both children. 12:01pm Start to get nervous we have missed her. 12:11pm See Meriel and SK, who ran with her daughter for 9 miles to keep her company during the race (what a great Mom!), once again jump around like a possessed baboon, whooping at the top of my lungs. 12:15am Go back to the car, take away all noisemakers, including the rubber chicken and throw them in the trunk to help allieviate the road rage. 12:23am Miss the toll basket causing them alarm to sound. 12:24pm Reprimanded by ungrateful children and ungrateful ex. Road rage was not alleviated. 12:29pm Pull into parking deck where I can’t figure out how to get a ticket. Is there such a thing as parking garage rage? 12:32pm Try to decide whether I should hit an Escalade or the brick wall in order to fit in my enormous gas guzzler into a tiny parking spot. 12:35pm Whole family climbs out on the passenger side because I have parked 2 inches from the brick wall. 12:43pm Make an emergency stop for both children at the port a potties. They have miraculously developed a sudden ability to hold it when they walk in and learn what happens to peoples stomachs after running 26.2 miles. 12:47pm See family members in the crowd, including my first cousin Lewis (also Meriel’s first cousin, so we are kind of related but I don’t know what you call it. Cousins-in-law?) who finished the marathon in 3 hours 8 minutes and 58 seconds, qualifying for the Boston marathon! Fortunately, I am paralyzed with fear that I am going to miss Meriel crossing the finish line, so I don’t do my baboon impression. 12:49pm Abrubtly stop chit chat and drag my children by their wrists through the crowd to get a spot close to the finish line, shouting at Ben to catch up. 12:52pm Get situated in a perfect spot by gently nudging a couple of small children out of the way. 12:53pm Maniacal Cheering. 12:55pm See a better, less crowded spot on the other side of the street. 12:56pm Grab Savannah by the shoulders and use her to bulldoze through the crowd before anyone else gets that spot. Loudly suggest to Ben that he should pick up the pace. 1:00pm Wait, so I don’t get in the way of a woman taking a picture of her daughter who just finished the race. 1:01pm Remind myself how impressed I am that this girl just ran 26.2 miles in order control my strong compulsion to grab the camera and throw it on the ground. She is taking up the whole sidewalk!! 1:02pm That lady dodged a bullet. 1:06pm Arrive in the perfect spot and began cheering maniacally. 1:09pm Begin fearing I have missed her again. 1:11pm Turn around to discover SK is standing right next to us. Relieved we haven’t missed Meriel. 1:17pm SK spots Meriel in the distance. Get cameras ready. 1:19pm Turns out it is not Meriel but woman who might be twice my age. Try to get a picture of her to show Meriel who her mom mistook for her. Her reaction will be funny. 1:21 pm Maniacal Cheering 1:25pm Begin to panic that Meriel has injured herself since the 20 mile mark. 1:26pm Finally see Meriel. 1:28pm Try to take pictures of her crossing the finish line while jumping up and down like a possessed baboon and whooping at the top of my lungs.Meriel finished her first marathon in 5 hours, 28 minutes, 10 seconds.
At lunch I learned that this was also my cousin Lewis’ first marathon (it seems like he has been a serious runner since he first learned to walk, so I just assumed it wasn’t the first). When I was not able to use my “indoor voice” to control my enthusiasm it dawned on me that maybe I was wound a little too tight today.
Finally, I would like to say congratulations to everyone who ran the Richmond marathon and the Richmond half marathon today. I saw a lot of familiar faces and I was rooting for all of you. Even the ones who looked the other way and pretended not to know me, I understand.
Stress
Nov 11th
Word Wall Wednesday is cancelled.
Not for forever, just for this week. I cannot focus today. Not anything new for me but today has been especially hard.
I spent two hours this morning with second graders, who got very close to figuring out that I had no idea where Australia goes on a map.
This afternoon I have preschool parent teacher conference. I’m terrified my son has been dropping f-bombs and social services is going to be present at the meeting so we can go ahead and set up our home visit schedule.
And it’s raining which means, even though I am perfectly willing to get soaking wet to avoid having to steam clean dog pee out of my mattress, my dog refused to go more than two feet out the back door and now has so much pent up energy she is running laps around the living room, stopping every few seconds for a quick snack from the catbox.
Calming myself with a drink is out, our conference is in an hour and I’m sure the social worker will probably be very good at sniffing out alcohol. So I’m thinking I’ll give the drink to the dog in the hopes she’ll calm down, take a quick power nap and come back to the vocabulary words after I have filled my Xanax prescription.
My First Award
Nov 5th
Yesterday I received my first ever blog award!
Thank you so much to Teresha at Marlie and Me! I am so excited!
The Honest Scrap Award comes with a few rules…
First, I have to share “10 Honest Things” about myself.
Next, I present this award to 7 others whose blogs I find brilliant in content and/or design, or those who have encouraged me.
They, in turn, choose 7 bloggers to pass the Honest Scrap Award on to.
The first part is easy because I’m not shy and I’m my favorite subject…
1. I’m not into Chinese food. It’s not a meal if theres no cheese.
2. My closet is full of size six clothes, I’m an eight (ten).
3. I am a habitual drunk texter.
4. My cats know how to open the refridgerator.
5. Monday I started shaving my legs, got through half of one, then figured, “f–k it, whats the point?” and saved myself enough time to stop at Krispy Kreme. Score!
6. I have a deaf jack russell terrier who likes to stare at me in the mirror while I’m sleeping. She looks away when I catch her. Creep!
7. I believe if you don’t think your tattoos were stupid mistakes you’ve got a lot more living to do.
8. This is my first time adding so many links or pictures into my blog and its making me want to chuck my laptop out the (insert many very, very bad words here) window.
9. I have a sticker on my car that says “White Trash Princess” I own it.
10. I am so happy I finished this post yesterday because I’ve got some kind of nasty stomach bug. Can’t wait to get on the scale on Friday though.
It was difficult though narrowing it down to seven of my favorite blogs.
Hormones, Headaches and Hot Flashes
Please remember this is my first time with an award, I don’t yet know all the rules of blogging etiquette and I am probably delirious with fever and dehydration (I will be sad if this is all a dream and I don’t even have a blog and have really tossed the laptop out the window). Please forgive me if I’ve done anything wrong, if you’ve already gotten this or don’t even except awards, I apologize in advance.
I Voted
Nov 4th
Yesterday, I voted. I always vote, partly because I care and want to make sure my voice is heard but it’s mostly because I am afraid of my mother. Even though she’s been gone for three years and I know in my heart that she is busy enjoying her well earned, peaceful, afterlife there are a few things that I am positive she would strike me down over. Not voting is one of them. Voting for a Republican is another. So to all my passionately conservative readers don’t be mad at me, I am a Socialist purely out of fear.
As luck would have it, my polling place is my daughters elementary school, where I had a parent teacher conference scheduled yesterday afternoon. I figured that it would just be a quick stop. I was wrong.
The theme of today’s Word Wall Wednesday is my trip to the polls and it is another quick example of my irrational paranoia. If you don’t know what Word Wall Wednesday is, check out “If You Don’t Do Your Homework” to see how it came about.
* “I’m sorry Ms. Rickards you’re name is not on the list.”
* “Are you sure? Check Richards. It gets spelled wrong a lot.”
* Then exactly four people proceeded to ask me a total of nine times if I was sure I hadn’t moved to a different spot or changed my last name.
* While my memory is not top notch, I am sure these things are something I would have remembered.
* Next the head volunteer came over and asked “Do you mind if I make a phone call?”
* Panic immediately kicks in, have I done something illegal?
* I imagine being taken away in handcuffs, assuring Jackson that his sister will take very good care of him.
* I tell myself to relax, they don’t take away your right to vote until you commit a felony, it is just a clerical error.
* I would know if I did commit a felony, right?
*I wish the woman on the phone would stop looking at me so sternly over her glasses, I’m really freaking out.
*Maybe I should call someone to drive the getaway truck.
*Calm down, while library fines are not funny, they would have to be pretty high to be considered a felony.
* Okay, she’s done, don’t let her know you are about to flip.
*Nevermind, it turns out my name was misspelled as “Richards” and now I know why the election day volunteers don’t have paying jobs.
Night Terrors
Oct 27th
We have a new rule at our house.
No Zombie Practice After dark!
My kids have been practicing to participate in next years Zombie Walk to benefit the American Cancer Society. It’s a great cause and seems like a really fun event but I’m sorry I just get creeped out too easily.
Horror movies really disturb me (as if I wasn’t already disturbed enough). Even the commercials for them keep me up at night. The scariest ones seem to involve cute kids turning into demonic, possessed, murderous monsters. I think its irresponsible for movie makers to depict children this way. As if kids aren’t terrifying enough.
Luckily, I have learned I can’t watch these movies. If I did, the chances of me tossing one of my kids out the window, when I wake up to them standing over my bed mumbling gibberish in the middle of the night after having them tell me they are going to eat my brains all day, would honestly be pretty high.
