humble home
Saturday Night Fever
Nov 1st
I am completely exhausted. I feel like this is the first time in the last two weeks that I have not been running around like a chicken with my head cut off.
One thing I know I need to avoid committal is a full eight hours of sleep. But I’m pushing my luck and staying awake as long as I possibly can. All I can think about is the chaos that the holiday season will bring and I just don’t want to waste a minute of what might be the last opportunity I get this year to do whatever I want.
I’ve got big plans for the few short hours I have left before picking the kids up from their dad’s house.
Crap! The cat just threw up on the remote. I guess I’ll go to bed.
Bedlam
Jun 1st
Yesterday I went with my kids to Busch Gardens. We had such a wonderful time. Definitely one of those days that reminds me that my kids are my reason for living. When we got home I was horrified to discover that my house had been ransacked. It is a terrifying feeling. You would think I would be used to it though since this is what I come home to every single day.
I am a walking tornado. I thrive on chaos and despise housework more than anything else in the world. If you ever stop by my house unexpectedly I will probably blame my children for the disaster. Honestly I try to keep them out of the house as much as possible because I get tired of hearing them complain about the mess. Its all me. I will do absolutely anything to put off housework. Its one of the reasons I started this blog. Writing is a way better excuse for not cleaning than watching Law and Order reruns all day. I will never understand how people keep clean organized homes or cars or work spaces or children. Oddly enough one of my favorite things to do to avoid housework is to buy cleaning products. I guess my secret hope is that one day one of my kids is going to turn into one of those weirdo neat freaks and I just want to be prepared.
Disposable Pets
May 18th
Last night I dreamt that my daughter brought a little red fox home from the park. It was one of those dreams that you know can’t have happened but I still had to jump out of bed to be sure there were no beloved pet bodies to be disposed of. We have a history with what I like to call “disposable pets.”
My seven year old Savannah is like a little crocodile hunter and dog whisperer all in one. I thought I was an animal lover until she came around.
It started with the bugs. Even at three years old she was very scientific about it, doing all of her research and building little habitats.
Savannah’s very first disposable pet was a praying mantis named Fred who lived on top of her princess canopy bed. She demanded we let it stay there and we weren’t allowed to close any doors in the house because sometimes Fred liked to sit on top of them. Needless to say, I forgot, and slammed the bathroom door squashing him early one morning. Luckily, he was not dead and we were able to leave him on the front porch and call the bug ambulance (broom) to come pick him up.
Just a few weeks later Savannah found three toads in the park. Cheeto, Pretzel, and Sarah. We spent many hours collecting bugs to feed them and set up an aquarium in the living room. My favorite thing about the toads was feeding them lightning bugs. Feed them enough and their little bellies glow. We had them about a year. Pretzel expired while we were on vacation in July. It took days to get the stench out of the house.
I felt so sad for Savannah losing her pets that we immediately went to the pet store. She was eyeing the snakes, lizards, and even a tarantula. I was thinking something cute and cuddly, that wouldn’t give me nightmares, like a hamster or gerbil. The wonderful girl at the pet store convinced us to compromise and get two white rats who would have been snake food in just a couple of hours.
Surprisingly enough they are great pets, much easier to train than dogs and you keep them in a cage. We were able to train them to come when we called their names, Violet and Verruca, and they never once tried to bite us or escape. I totally recommend them as long as you have no problem with cannibalism. Try explaining that to a five year old.
Thanks to my ability to block unpleasant memories Savannah was able to convince me to let her take my nephews hamster about a year later. He was giving us the whole set up and she was really amazing with the hamster. It would sit on her little homework table for hours while she drew pictures of it and wrote stories about it. She named it Meow Mix (she is a very clever child). Fortunately our cats are way too fat and lazy to have had any interests beyond knocking its cage over. Not so fortunate for little Meow Mix is the fact that we have a Jack Russell Terrier. We probably should have named her Kibbles n’ Bits.
I have vowed no more disposable pets and thank goodness Savannah is content for now with collecting bugs, toads and black snakes from the park and taking them to live in my babies daddy’s backyard. We keep a cooler in the car for our outings and dad doesn’t mind since his yard is overrun with mosquitoes.
Although the other day she mentioned asking Santa for a bunny and a snake. She did specify in separate cages.
This might be the year the Santa secret comes out.
