good reasons to get my stuff together

I’m almost back on track for getting into the spirit of the season. It’s really now or never.

Unless, I can trick my kids into thinking it’s only November.

I don’t think it’s going to work and I think I will blame that on the SOL’s. Or maybe Tiger Woods.

No, it’s definitely Jeff Dunham’s fault that I can’t put Christmas off for one more week. Which is one more reason to hate him but doesn’t solve my problem.

Because I don’t think they will believe that Santa lost his keys, “you know just like Mommy does every morning on the way to school. I’m sure he will be here any minute”  I have to get started on my Christmas shopping.

I’m at a total loss for what to get anybody this year. I think this means that everyone I know, including my kids, are spoiled rotten and have too much shit.

But it’s Christmas.  It’s a time for giving (or having a nervous breakdown when you try to make a “quick stop” for laundry detergent because you forgot that as far as charity and goodwill go all bets are off at Target in December.  There, and the Amazon page for Zhu Zhu pets, are proof enough for me of the Lord’s forgiveness.)

Maybe it would be easier to start with my own wish list.

Because I’m pretty certain that a 22 year old boy toy, who loves to do dishes and thinks that I am queen of the universe, thereby keeping respectfully quiet at all times, is not going to fit in my stocking (I’ve got a six-foot minimum. Beggars can be choosers. They can also spend Saturday nights eating dry cereal and dancing with their dog), I was still having trouble.

So I was back to blog stalking, where I came across Mim’s post about knitting her first pair of socks.  Mim has this great energy that will motivate anyone, so her blog seemed the perfect place to go for some holiday cheer. I also love her artwork (really if you ever talk to her, it is impossible not to love whatever she does).  It’s freezing here right now so not only did I want her to immediately make me five pairs of socks to wear right now but her cozy looking mitts led me to her etsy shop, Fritzi.

I am a child of the 80’s, so fingerless gloves are a must have accessory, but I have refrained from neon purple lace ones (the sacrifices I make to not embarrass my kids!).  Also, because I quit smoking this year and can finally keep a pair of gloves for more than a  week without them smelling like an ashtray I have decided to put these on my list.

I am also emailing the link to my kids Dad. I’m pretty easy to please but you only need so many keychains made by a three year old (I almost died in child birth, for God’s sake!) and I know I’m repeating myself but I quit smoking, so the traditional carton of cigarettes will not be there to fill my stocking. Santa can also cut down on the number of airplane bottles since there are no more holiday visits to the in-laws.

Cut down, not out. I still have to work.