I’m worn out and just in case you are one of the many people I was supposed to call tonight, here is a repost that will make you think we were actually on the phone….

I’m Sorry

My all time favorite children’s book is If You Give a Pig a Pancake.The story is a day in the life of a very distracted pig.  If you haven’t read it I highly recommend it. I totally relate to that little pig and the story inspired the following.

I call it If Maya Needs to get a Beer.  Enjoy…


If I sit down to talk to you on the phone I am probably drinking a beer.

Chances are I will interrupt you at a crucial part of the conversation to get a second beer.

On the way to the refrigerator I will remember that I have to go to the bathroom because I have a bladder the size of a peanut.

While I’m in the bathroom I will notice that I forgot to wax the back of my left leg, it will only take a second, I don’t want to forget again.

I will probably be out of wax remover so I will rummage the kitchen cabinets looking for something to get the wax residue off.

Using up all the peanut butter will remind me that I need to go grocery shopping. I will need a pen and some paper to make a list.

Unfortunately I will not be able to find a pen but I will find my keys between the couch cushions and I better hang them on their hook by the front door before I lose them again.

When I hang my keys I notice my spare bottle opener which reminds me I needed a beer.

That’s when I will remember I was on the phone with you and …

Crap! I owe you a big apology again and we should just stick to texting from now on.